New places, new faces

Week one of Chicago.

I am not exactly how to effectively put into words what things have been like so far. Overwhelming is the only word that keeps coming to mind. Meeting a ton of new people (and having no personal space - seriously no one can even unpack their suitcase which unfortunately stresses me out every single time I open mine) is completely (and I do mean that in very dramatic way) exhausting. In a group of new people I cannot help but feel completely lost in the group, especially as someone who has a quieter personality.

We took personality tests yesterday and it turns out that I tied of a "perfectionist" and a "romantic." A romantic perfectionist sounds awful. or a lot to handle. No wonder I have a hard time dealing with myself :-) It's been pretty eye opening though.

Today we shared our "faith stories" in our country groups and one of my teammates mentioned to me after I was done telling mine (crying the whole time of course) how he believes that I been giving the gift of empathy, which I think is true (though it's always helpful for someone to see that "writing on the wall" and affirm that to me). But also is rather, well, depressing and feels more like a burden than an actual gift. It's hard to be completely unbalanced with it comes to my emotions but I don't want to lose that side of me either. I need my heart to break for others in order to motivate me to want to do something. If I don't hurt, I won't move. But at this same time, I feel trapped by this because I feel pain for people but can't seem to cross the threshold between knowledge and action. I am hoping that this journey helps me bridge that gap (and helps me balance my emotions).

It's going to be long journey.